10/18/03
DLC SWEEPS TEAM 12, WHO ARE ENTIRELY ABSENT
The rules of the YABA state that if an entire team is absent, the other team must shoot 80% of their team average in each game order to achieve victory. DLC did just that in every game, led by three outstanding performances from team captain Kyle Runge for the second straight week in a row. Runge, who bowled a jaw dropping career-high 257 game last week, rolled a 573 series to carry the team. Despite mediocre performances from Jeremy Jones (avg. 165) and Sam Lacey (avg. 180), who pre-bowled, Runge's performances were sufficient, as DLC moved to 26-23 on the season....we THINK...
"I'm not really sure," said Runge, who assisted with the score keeping, "We had to shoot like 80 or 90% of our average, and I think we did it at least two of the three games...hopefully all, but we shall see, we shall see...unofficially right now, we won all three games, so take that to the press, bitch!"
Runge's success appears to be going to his head, as you can see from that last quote, but he assures us that he is the same Zen Master he has always been.
"Maybe we will win...and then again, maybe we won't...that all depends on the will of God...muhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!"
"We hope that this spurrs some sort of momentum," said Lacey in a post game interview, "this is definately the best organization I've ever been a part of. There's so much nostalgia...so much tradition...so many great memories amongst Jeremy and Kyle from their several amazing years with this franchise...it really motivates you to do well."
DLC will play Team 14 next week.
"They're loaded," said Jeremy Jones with a sly grin, "Jason Glaze....that boy eats himself to sleep...and Ron Young, who is a flaming homo...and we can't forget about Brad Boner...and we all know he lives up to his last name on the lanes, which is why he rolls so many crappy shots....but we definately can not let our guard down, since we don't have Mr. Tenth Frame to piss off Glaze by bowling like a normal kid and not bowing down to the presence of his sheer fat ass and always letting him bowl with nobody on the approach."
| Players | Average | Game 1 | Game 2 | Game 3 | TOTAL |
| Jeremy Jones | 165 | 148 | 142 | 126 | 446 |
| Kyle Runge | 162 | 191 | 199 | 183 | 573 |
| Devin Ball | 109 | 106 | 111 | 123 | 340 |
| Sam Lacey *PRE BOWL* | 180 | 175 | 146 | 125 | 446 |
| SUB-TOTAL | 616 | 620 | 598 | 557 | 1775 |
| HANDICAP | 165 | 165 | 165 | 165 | 495 |
| TOTAL Including Handicap | 685 | 763 | 722 | 2270 | |
| Mark "X" if WON | X | X | X | X | |
| WON: 7 | |||||
| LOST: 0 |
| Players | Average | Game 1 | Game 2 | Game 3 | TOTAL |
| Tony Carson (blind score) | 206 | 196 | 196 | 196 | 588 |
| Chris Robar (blind score) | 192 | 182 | 182 | 182 | 546 |
| Vacancy B | 150E | 150 | 150 | 150 | 450 |
| Vacancy B | 150E | 150 | 150 | 150 | 450 |
| SUB-TOTAL | 698 | 678 | 678 | 678 | 2034 |
| HANDICAP | 91 | 91 | 91 | 91 | 273 |
| TOTAL Including Handicap | 769 | 769 | 769 | 2307 | |
| Mark "X" if WON | |||||
|
WON: 0 |
|||||
| LOST: 7 |
