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The rules of the YABA state that if an entire team is absent, the other team must shoot 80% of their team average in each game order to achieve victory. DLC did just that in every game, led by three outstanding performances from team captain Kyle Runge for the second straight week in a row. Runge, who bowled a jaw dropping career-high 257 game last week, rolled a 573 series to carry the team. Despite mediocre performances from Jeremy Jones (avg. 165) and Sam Lacey (avg. 180), who pre-bowled, Runge's performances were sufficient, as DLC moved to 26-23 on the season....we THINK...

"I'm not really sure," said Runge, who assisted with the score keeping, "We had to shoot like 80 or 90% of our average, and I think we did it at least two of the three games...hopefully all, but we shall see, we shall see...unofficially right now, we won all three games, so take that to the press, bitch!"

Runge's success appears to be going to his head, as you can see from that last quote, but he assures us that he is the same Zen Master he has always been.

"Maybe we will win...and then again, maybe we won't...that all depends on the will of God...muhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!"

"We hope that this spurs some sort of momentum," said Lacey in a post game interview, "this is definitely the best organization I've ever been a part of. There's so much much many great memories amongst Jeremy and Kyle from their several amazing years with this really motivates you to do well."

DLC will play Team 14 next week.

"They're loaded," said Jeremy Jones with a sly grin, "Jason Glaze....that boy eats himself to sleep...and Ron Young, who is a flaming homo...and we can't forget about Brad Boner...and we all know he lives up to his last name on the lanes, which is why he rolls so many crappy shots....but we definitely can not let our guard down, since we don't have Mr. Tenth Frame to piss off Glaze by bowling like a normal kid and not bowing down to the presence of his sheer fat ass and always letting him bowl with nobody on the approach."

Players Average Game 1 Game 2 Game 3 TOTAL
Jeremy Jones 165 148 142 126 446
Kyle Runge 162 191 199 183 573
Devin Ball 109 106 111 123 340
Sam Lacey *PRE BOWL* 180 175 146 125 446
SUB-TOTAL 616 620 598 557 1775
HANDICAP 165 165 165 165 495
TOTAL Including Handicap 685 763 722 2270
Mark "X" if WON X X X X
WON: 7

Players Average Game 1 Game 2 Game 3 TOTAL
Tony Carson (blind score) 206 196 196 196 588
Chris Robar (blind score) 192 182 182 182 546
Vacancy B 150E 150 150 150 450
Vacancy B 150E 150 150 150 450
SUB-TOTAL 698 678 678 678 2034
HANDICAP 91 91 91 91 273
TOTAL Including Handicap 769 769 769 2307
Mark "X" if WON

WON: 0



DLC Swept By The Farside

Devin Ball was missing in action completely, and Jeremy Jones pre-bowled three mediocre scores as fine performances by Sam Lacey were not enough to carry DLC to a single victory on this day. DLC falls to 12-16 as it appears to be a repeat of the second half of last season. Says team captain Kyle Runge, "I let the team down...I should be tied to a tree and shot. But despite my insulting performances, we aren't done yet." The Farside moves to 11 and 17. The most notable player on The Farside is Matt Wilson, a who replaced Jordan Taber for one year during the lapse created by the latter moving to the Winners while the remaining DLC members stayed in the Strikes league for an additional year.


4/19/03 DLC Finishes Season In 10th Place, 55-57, Losing to Team 9 2 out of 3 in Rolloff In Jordan Taber's Final Series

It wasn't the best ending, a Hollywood-type ending, but Jordan Taber did not disappoint in his final rolloff series. His final regular series, last weekend, was heightened by the fact that he had two lanes all to himself and that put his skill on display. However, it came with disappointing results-they only looked different and much more enjoyable. Taber, Kyle Runge, and Jeremy Jones battled the explosive-yet-underachieving team 9 in the rolloff. Young superstar Alex Medeiros led the way with his 16,321 pins, the second highest total in the league. He has a 181.3 average and is an enormous talent. Following him are three excellent-yet-underachieving bowlers in Doug Stellar (166.9), Jeremy Camenzind (183.3) and his cousin Tony Camenzind (181.4). DLC fought a tough battle, however, taking game 2 as Jordan Taber passed the torch to Jeremy Jones, the cornerstone of the franchise, who rolled a 223 game and is now thought to be the leading candidate for the MVB (Most Valuable Bowler) award.

Shit got cut off and screwed up in this section so I don't know what goes with what...

two out of three against a vacancy team. Conversely, this week was much Last year's winner was Scott Pierce, and Kevin Boxdorfer the year before. However, what's going to make this truly special for Jeremy if he does win (he may be hurt by his team's marginal finishing point in the second half, but the fact that they finished fifth in the first half and made a charge in the second should boost his rankings) is that he will win an award Taber won in 2000 in the Strikes League during their championship season. However, the main focal point is Taber, who will bid farewell next week in a final appearance also known as the "party week." Team 10 and the Huevos Grandes will battle it out for the league championship, while Jordan Taber will take the lanes for the final time. "I will be back," the mercurial 10-year-veteran said. "I know that this is my last game, and it didn't end quite like I wanted it to, but I know that this isn't the last time I bowl with these guys. I'll be visiting on college breaks and hang out with them. I'll be in the front office and helping our GM Jonathan Market make transactions to better this franchise. DLC won't go away, and neither will I. And when I finally graduate, and all of us are of age, we will enter the adult leagues for a 40-something year reign of terror in those. This team is too good to just vaporize like that." "DLC is more than just a team, it is a standard. It is something that will live on through generations. We are the creators of it, and we made our own rules. Now it's time to pass those rules on down through our next generation of superstars. We will recruit some young talent to learn the ways of DLC, and I couldn't ask for two finer teachers than Double J and Mr. Klutch. When 30 years from now there is a team still calling themselves DLC and interacting with the creators of it on this webpage, I think the regulars of that alley will understand what we're all about."


DLC "Kicks Huevos Grandes' Ass All Over These Lanes"-Kevin Boxdorfer following defeat in game three

No one really noticed when Andrew Long hit his first nine shots en route to a disappointing and disheartening 265 game. For that brief moment, A.L., as his friends call him, Andrew was out of his brother, Travis', shadow. Travis has been hovering around the 200 avg. mark for the year, and started off way ahead of the other superstars for highest average. Both are quiet achievers, but Andrew even moreso, because he's been known as a pretty average bowler to this point.

Nope, no one was watching that. All eyes were turned to the Huevos Grandes/DLC matchup. Some say this is the greatest rivaly rin history. Before the game, Huevos Grandes captain Scott Pierce spoke on this issue:

"Yeah, they are one heckuva team and they always give us their best," says Pierce, "How they haven't had more success in our league to this date is beyond me. But those guys play hard game in and game out. They have leadership and are as competitive as they come. It's always fun bowling against those guys because we know they're going to give us their all and a tough challenge, something that is often missing in other matchups."

Perhaps the Huevos Grandes most well-known star, however, the flamboyant and exuberant Justin Cain, was absent today.

"It's too bad," said Jordan Taber afterwards, "I wanted to punch him in the gut for K.R. I promised him I would. Oh well, there's always next year when I return during vacations to watch my team kick some major arse with their new teammates and draft picks."

It didn't start out looking like a good day for the Rungeless DLC. They had the benefit of one good game from Kyle's pregame scores, a 163 first game. DLC lead up until around the 8th or 9th frame, where the Huevos Grandes took their first lead of the day.

Jeremy Jones was up to bowl with a spare in the ninth and did not disappoint. After Boxdorfer missed his easy spare and Tabers only came away with a mark and a 7 or so, Jones brought DLC back into the front by striking out. Pierce hit his 5 or 6 pin spare, maybe 4 pin, but who knows and who remembers? He needed 3 pins to win, he got 8, and the Big Testicles escaped with a narrow victory.

Now, in crises like this, most teams in the predicament DLC was in would just give up and get crushed in the latter two games after this narrow miss. Not the veterans of DLC, however. Thanks in part to some coaxing from Jordan Taber.

"After it was over (the first game) Jordan just came up to me and said 'we're going to have to win the next two games.' I just sorta nodded in approval, at least in my mind. It's gotten to that point where we're all so cool and calm we make Steve McQueen look nervous in 'bullitt.'"

And so DLC did just that. With some fives from the Huevos Grandes, DLC handed their asses to them. 824-781 and 799-740 were the scores.

After the games were over, Boxdorfer let out the quote that summed up the day. He announced it to everyone who would listen, "We just got our asses kicked all over these lanes!" Afterwards, Boxdorfer couldn't be found for comment, but he seemed very gracious in defeat. Before the game, Boxdorfer showed some uncharacteristic humility.

"Jordan Taber...well, let me just say this. If you're gonna ever count him out, you'd might as well kill yourself, or he'll do it for you. He's just JT, the coolest, most charismatic, and most competitive person the game has ever seen. When he leaves, it won't quite be the same without him. He really makes those guys who they are."

Pierce also chipped in with his two cents on Taber, saying, "I sometimes wish I could be more like him in my approach. He just scratches and claws for everything he ever gets in this league."

And so DLC has moved to 38-44, with three regular season weeks remaining before the rolloff and championship/party week. Jordan Taber is rolling his final frames at strike 'n spare. But as he makes his farewell tour, one has to wonder, "What is next for this young man with such mad skillz?"

Players Average Game 1 Game 2 Game 3 TOTAL
Jordan Taber 163 152 200 193 545
Kyle Runge*Pre Bowl* 149 163 132 125 420
Jeremy Jones 171 174 198 187 559
Vacancy 150 150 150 150 450
SUB-TOTAL 630 639 680 655 1974
HANDICAP 144 144 144 144 432
TOTAL Including Handicap 783 824 799 2466
Mark "X" if WON X X X
WON: 5

Players Average Game 1 Game 2 Game 3 TOTAL
Kevin Boxdorfer 207 215 181 203 599
Adam Tabers 186 192 172 148 512
Justin Cain *Absent* 201 191 191 191 583
Scott Pierce 190 190 237 198 625
SUB-TOTAL 817 788 781 740 2369
HANDICAP 0 0 0 0 0
TOTAL Including Handicap 788 781 740 2369
Mark "X" if WON X

WON: 2